Trekking Part 1

We picked up our guide in Chiang Mai and rode out into the mountains in the back of a pickup truck. Starting out into the jungle we crossed streams and rice paddies as our guide commented on the amazing foliage. Half an hour into our beginners level jungle walk (as described by out travel agent) we stopped to rest at a stream along a steep bank. Our guide told us to rest up for a bit as we would go up hill for a long time. I quickly realized two things, our travel agent was an asshole and I was in worse shape then I thought. For one hour up a 50 degree slope using steps, created by elephants I wheezed and sweated my way to the top holding on to roots and trees, struggling to get from foothold to foothold. When we would stop to break I would plop down in the dirt not caring how dirty my pants were getting and our guide would come around and fan me and the other girl who was struggling. My self esteem had never been higher.

We eventually summited "Holy Fuck This Sucks" mountain and started down the other side to a little village. Down is awesome. We stopped in the village which had a perfectly good road running through it. We got water and ice cream and then walked across a rice paddy to the Jumbo elephant resort and spa. There were some elephants with chains dragging from their legs a little open air bar next to a pig pen and an elephant dugout. Chickens, ducks and mangy dogs wandered around freely. On the hill a one hundred feet above us was a long thatch roofed building in which we would spend the night.

Leaving no time stop and smell the massive piles of elephant dung we were pushed up a ladder to a raised platform so we could go on our elephant ride. Tyler and I boarded together. The bench seat had a hint of padding and a back rest of three quarter inch square iron. The elephant driver or "mahut" sat lazily on elephant's head. As we started up the rocky hill I understood why the elephant never caught on in mass as a form of personal transportation. Our seat rocked back and forth as the elephant slowly climbed the hill. As Tyler made all sorts of unmanly sounds, I struggled to hold the camera and mono pod straight with out wrecking my back on the iron bar behind or being pitched forward and off the to my certain death. The elephants would stop constantly to eat leaves from the surrounding bush. To get them moving again the mahuts would strike them on the in the forhead head with wooden handled device that looked something like a fire poker. Our elephant was the only one of the group that had tusks and an attitude so we fell behind. At a large cut bank he stopped to eat and refused to move. Finally our mahut gave up, jumped to the bank, bank and left us to fend for ourselves. Tlyer's unmanly sounds intensified and I found a better grip as the elephant decided he wanted some roots out of the bank and took to ripping it up with his tusks. We contemplated jumping by which I mean I encouraged Tyler to jump so I could better secure myself. Fortunately the mahut came back with a bunch of big green leaves which he used to bribe the elephant into moving again before leaping deftly back aboard. Our elephant decide that one more 360 was in order and then took us the rest of the way home with out complaint.